The Matt that got the Cream!!

Four (Cher), three (One Direction), two (Rebecca), won (Matt),
The 2010 X Factor is for this year, done.

Take That ruled the stage throughout the weekend’s events,
As Dermot held the audience in constant suspense.

We waited, on edge, for that final result,
Waited for the drama, the tears, the exult.

Cher wore a skater skirt to rap with Will.i.am,
While One Direction adopted Robbie as their sixth band man.

Rebecca came out on top with a top blonde diva star,
Promoting her new flick Burlesque was Christina Aguilera.

Matt got all cosy with a flame-haired, leggy girl,
Steaming up the stage – is a romance set to unfurl?

We all drew a sigh of disbelief when SiCo’s boyband placed just third,
Convinced that their hoards of admirers would get them on top of the world.

Rebecca was stunningly glorious singing Lennox’s sweet dream hit,
It was a close call in that final showdown, though she needn’t worry one bit.

As far as a career with that voice is concerned, she’s our style and vocal queen,
She’ll get a contract without a doubt; she’ll live out her everlasting dream.

A bromance was sparked on that winner’s stage as Aiden moved in for a hug,
Championing his mate Matt to win, could Rhianna be in for a war of tug?

All the misfits from the audition process gave a terrible rendition of some song,
It was so bad I daren’t name it lest the artist in question should feel wronged.

Cheryl sported a slicked back do and a mermaid tail after that,
Dannii looked pretty in feathery white as she took a bow next to her Matt.

Louis sat patiently in his dickie bow tie looking on as his colleagues acts shone,
He put all his strength into supporting Rebecca urging scousers to pick up the phone.

But it wasn’t enough for the J-Lo-alike as decorator Matt took the crown,
Yet she stood and she radiated staying true to her grace in a floor-length shimmering red gown.

So what will become of our X Factor champ as critics are already quick to compare,
Him to Mr Brookstein of the debut show, of whom no one has heard hide or hair.

I predict more success for Dannii’s protégé,
Mark my words that Mr Cardle is definitely here to stay!

Get Wagner Out!!!

It is now officially the world’s biggest farce,
As ‘Vagner’ rolls through again and Aiden’s out on his arse.

Paije was convinced he was a goner, it was written all over his face,
As Dermot revealed he’d made it through, escaping his fall from grace.

In the bottom two since the start of the show,
We were all convinced that Katie would go.

But no, the shock as Dannii’s crooner took the hit,
In favour of Louis’, tuneless Brazilian twit.

Simon is really starting to get on my wick,
Booting Rachel last year for not being the public pick.

But ‘cause Waissel makes headlines week in week out,
Cowell just sits back and lets the others fight it out.

So long as his boyband continue sailing through,
He honestly doesn’t care who else we hiss and boo.

Touted by their boyband peers to win this years’ contest,
The boys are moving higher towards their fame conquest.

Harry is the stud and Zain the token harmony,
Liam and Louis look the same, while Niall’s the lil blondie.

With over 150,000 facebook fans on the social networking site,
The other acts better watch themselves, they’re in for an almighty fight.

Rocking an Elton John anthem, fresh from a trip to Leicester Square,
They love Emma Watson and the spotlight, they’re literally floating on air.

And did anyone notice in this week’s results, Rebecca wore the same dress as before,
Am thinking her style crown may take a tumble post her Sunday night fashion faux pas.

While Cheryl rocked the Minnie Mouse look, with a hint of Princess Lea,
Cher stepped closer to her transformation to become Cole’s mini replica.

Mary for me has lost her appeal, think she’s tired and should cut her losses,
She truly belongs on the West End stage, could someone have a word with the ITV bosses?

Matt’s still gorgeous though wasn’t keen on this week’s song,
But it ain’t his fault that the theme was Elton John.

Feel sorry for Louis Walsh, Simon’s rudeness is beginning to get old.
But his acts JLS and Westlife last night proved their weight in gold.

The women squealed as then onto the stage came their girlhood fantasy,
The reformed Take That performed their song, complete with Mr Robbie.

Seal revealed he’s backing Rebecca as this year’s star,
But the way that things are going, it could be (gulp) Wagner!!!