Developing a major obsession with Channel 4 drama/documentary One Born Every Minute, closely followed by Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant; the subject of babies is one that is very much on the pop cultural forefront at the moment. Acting as pseudo-councilor to one of my best friends who is starting her journey towards having IVF and needs lots of support and reassurance, I can’t help but wonder about the amazingly strong pull of the natural female vocation. Motherhood.
With half the female staff in my office at varying stages of impending or actual motherhood, spring 2011 is certainly living up to its flowering reputation! Perusing the baby-wear in Marks & Spencer this lunchtime to look for a gift I shared gleeful smiles with my fellow female shoppers also rifling among the teeny puff ball dresses, cotton cardi’s and lace-trimmed socks. There’s something about the notion of having a baby that fills people with hope and joy. The idea of a new life coming into the world, untouched by all the rubbish that already exists offering a clean slate, fills us with the thought that this might just provide a chance for something new and good. Adding a new member to the family to promote those values of togetherness, loyalty and community; it all makes us feel incredibly positive. In the same token, the generation of creativity and ideas to be transformed into works of literature is also something that makes us writers feel über-positive and excited. It is also that something new, made with love and filled with characteristics pertaining to us as the writer. Can two things as equally important as babies and books co-exist successfully in a writer’s life? This may sound strange but it really is something that clouds my mind every so often when I allow it to reside there.
When someone has a baby, people want to associate themselves with that new life in any way that they can, either by buying gifts or looking at pictures or inquiring after a pregnant friend’s health. My boss gave birth on New Year’s Day and barely a month ago, my other boss announced she’s four months gone, while our senior designer made the same announcement shortly after. Meanwhile two ‘maternity-leave new mothers’ are due back this year, one in the next two months and the other towards the end of the summer. It got me thinking about that all-important work-life balance we all try so hard to achieve. It’s so difficult to make that choice to start a family, particularly when your career aspirations are equally as great. As a writer close to completing the first draft of my debut novel, I feel like I may be doing my writer-self a disservice by having a baby before I’ve even launched my literary career properly. But then for the increasingly broody feelings that have been churning up inside me there is also the maternal-self to think of as well. And I know many of my writer friends who are successfully balancing the two. It may not be easy, but then nothing worth having ever is.
So here I am, caught between two strong desires: the desire to procreate with my wonderful husband and the desire to procreate with my equally wonderful laptop… I am determined to do both because, well why shouldn’t I? Surely a woman is allowed more than one great love in her life and after all, who said we shouldn’t have it all. We’re the only ones standing in our own way with rules of professional and personal life each meeting our individual lists of criteria and demands. Well I am giving myself permission to throw the list out and rewrite the rules because it’s doing and having the things we love that makes life worth living. My destiny is in my hands and I choose to type and nappy-change my way to a blissfully happy ending…
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