As a 20-something, recently married woman, babies are definitely something I am thinking about. I mean, you have to right? Factoring them into your plans for the future is completely necessary, especially as the years seem to be speeding past.
Last week's Stylist magazine spoke about the ever-present biological clock, with the aptly phrased cover line: Tick Tock Tick Tock. The article outlined ways to essentially put the brakes on it, offering ways of pressing pause on fertility from egg freezing to surrogacy. The media certainly seems to be putting particular emphasis on this fertility. Tina Fey's 'Baby Mama' (2008) presents the notion of surrogacy in a comic portrayal of one woman putting all her eggs (literally) into another woman's basket...
...while Jennifer Aniston is set to star in 'The Switch', choosing to go down the artifical insemination route (only who IS the father?)
...it's amazing how many options there are available. And the voice of current popular culture is making sure it informs us of them.
As women strive to 'have it all' in this oh so trendy day and age, the stress of achieving it all is incredibly wearisome. Our fertile years are purported to be between 20-30, however with the average individual graduating at 21 the likelihood of securing marital and domestic bliss plus your intended career within this time frame is in most cases nil to one. Realistically, the average woman is about 26-27 before she is at the stage where the 'B' word is even factoring in her consciousness...
And then there's the issue of maternity leave - in most cases, you have to have been with your company for at least 3 years to be eligible for the full maternity allowance, unless of course you are in the position where you work for yourself/from home/do not need to work.
And what happens when your choice is taken away and pregnancy arrives without a warning? I have always maintained the importance of 'readiness' - I (personally) want to have achieved the majority of my "singleton" objectives before baby: husband (check), first home (hopefully next year), travel (in the works), financial security (hmmm...). But when will we ever be really ready for what having a baby truly means for our lives, in some ways maybe it would be nice for fate to just take the decision out of our hands.
Especially when we consider the issues one may encounter when finally ready TO try - in our favourite TV shows we watched as first Charlotte in Sex and the City and then Monica in Friends came up against the reality of infertility. A friend and I were having dinner the other night and she said she was seriously considering fertility testing. She's 26 and not yet married to her boyfriend but owns her own home and has a good job, and is not planning to start a family for the next few years but she wants to know that when the time comes, she has done her homework (so to speak).
Compared with our predecessors from decades past, we are fortunate to have numerous portals open to us enabling us with options that were not on the market years ago. But this issue is something that remains at the back of most female minds...
Jennifer Lopez just recently starred in 'The Back-Up Plan' [http://www.theback-upplan.com] about another 30-year old woman who hasn't yet met The One, and tired of waiting decides to strike out on her own via artifical insemination - but of course, Hollywood movie and all, who does she bump into 5 minutes later, but, Mr Right - and guess what, he doesn't mind playing father to her unborn child!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAyzwSZ2o48
And, needless to say, the celebrity magazines are full of our favourite movie stars, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan to name a few, choosing the philanthropic route of adoption; this could also be an option, though the road is long and tumultuous, but definitely worthwhile.
So, 'baby' is the hot word of the moment. It will be interesting to see if the 1950s housewife re-emerges. The 1980s baby boom (aptly illustrated in the 1987 film starring Diane Keaton) seems to be being repeated and only time will tell if we all decide to give up on the Wall Street/Big City career in favour of making jam in the countryside...!!
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