Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Chapter Four


An arm reached out and grabbed her from somewhere in the darkness. Yanking her roughly aside, a hand clamped across her mouth, cutting off the scream that rose in her throat. She tried to turn around but whoever was holding her had her locked in a vice-like grip. She watched in terror as the straggle of passengers moved further and further away. It was only then she realised that it was she who was moving away from them. She was being carried along, half suspended with the points of her heels grazing the tracks below. Then without warning, they leaped and she felt herself sucked through a vacuum. Floating on nothingness for what seemed like hours, they finally came to a stop.

She was thrown down on a hard surface, temporarily knocking her unconscious. When she came to, dread coursed through her veins. She was in the strange ballroom of her nightmare but this time she didn’t appear to be imagining it. She looked up to see Coffee Breath’s pockmarked face looming over her.
‘You!’ She met his unflinching gaze. ‘What the hell is going on?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know,’ he said nastily.
‘Very nice you two, let’s take a short break.’ The director stepped out from the shadows signalling a rap. Lacey and her fellow actor dropped their assumed guises and gratefully slumped into their seats at the side of the sound stage as the production team and crew milled around with clapper boards and cardboard coffee cups. As the make-up girl approached though, Lacey detected a distinctly hostile air. When she had entered Lacey’s trailer earlier that day she had been chirpy and chatted incessantly in her cockney accent about how much she loved Lacey’s work on the series. But now all expression had deserted her features. Wielding a blusher brush as though it were a deadly weapon, she descended on Lacey’s face and attacked her cheeks with gusto. Now mere inches in front of her, Lacey saw that the girl’s skin was scaled and pale green, her eyes a muted pink. She seemed possessed. Lacey screamed for help but no one heard.

Looking wildly around Lacey saw that the area had been abandoned, scripts tossed aside, chairs overturned and coffee cups lying on their sides spewing their lukewarm contents onto tables and floor. The panic began to gnaw its way up through her insides. Her heart throbbed violently and her skin felt clammy and hot. Not knowing what to do, she carefully extricated herself from beneath the girl’s unblinking stare and moved slowly away, watching the girl who remained in position in front of Lacey’s chair. As she moved further towards the exit Lacey caught sight of a pair of shoes sticking out from behind a train carriage on-set. Brown suede lace-up brogues with denim cuffs above them. She moved closer, and as she stepped round a most shocking sight lay before her. Brown brogues was embroiled in an intense make-out session with a pair of scarlet pumps from which protruded a set of fishnet-stocking encased legs belonging to none other than Winnie Gravington. Lacey’s on-screen nemesis and an aspiring starlet famed as much for her private school-girl etiquette as her acting talent, Winnie currently had her hands glued to Coffee Breath’s head as she energetically probed his mouth with her tongue. Feeling nauseous at this most disturbing of revelations, Lacey’s instinct was to back away. But. She paused, realising Winnie and Coffee Breath, real name, Gus, were probably the only other people still on set at this precise moment. With the exception of course of alien make up girl who was still posing in front of Lacey’s abandoned chair, blusher brush in hand. Taking a deep breath Lacey ventured nearer the empassioned pair writhing around on the makeshift train track.

‘Winnie? Gus?’ she said in a small voice.

Friday, 6 August 2010

What makes the world go round?



From Lily Allen's baby news to slightly pornographic art being shown at an auction house, I have been bombarded with an array of issues of a sexual nature in the past 24 hours.

Following the delightful news that 25 year old popstrel-turned-fashion designer, Lily Allen is expecting with her builder beau Sam Cooper, I of course took to Twitter to not only wish Ms Allen congratulations but also to note the multiple tweets of well wishing from magazine editors, celebrity baby websites and random tweetaholics.

Aside from the fact that I am in total brood-mode and am lapping up every baby-related TV programme, news blast, magazine article and book; it really seems as though it is on everyone else's mind too. In one form or another.

The September issue of Marie Claire invites readers to take part in a quiz aimed at analysing one's fertility fitness. From BMI and lifestyle to family genetics and menstral cycles - every area is covered. But it's not only female fertility that we are being made aware of, but male fertility also. The front page of yesterday's Metro called out the potential dangers of certain plastics used in food and drink containers in stunting a man's reproductive abilities and an article earlier in the week reminded us that regular jacuzzis and hot baths, not to mention the wearing of tight underpants, can affect a man's sperm count. Yes it seems everyone is thinking about or talking about ...or reading about, their sexual IQ (a.k.a ability to reproduce).



Sitting on the train yesterday afternoon heading home pre-rush hour, I noticed the man next to me had retrieved several pieces of paper and parephernalia from his suit jacket pocket. I didn't think anything of it until he unfolded one leaflet to reveal the header: How to make your erection stay hard. Double take... Ahem, surely one shouldn't be so freely reading what I'm sure is such a personal piece of literature on one of the most public places in London??

Albeit seemingly unrelated to babies, rather this experience (which slightly scarred me) divulges the (ideally private) thoughts of a mature man contemplating his options regarding sustaining his sex life. But what drives this in the first place? The need to reproduce, to procreate, to continue the existence of humankind.

Last night, as I sat and watched first, Look Who's Talking and then Knocked Up (both for probably the 55th time), it occurred to me how in both cases sex was the primary motive for the resulting offspring. A non-thought for both female protagonists prior to their sexual encounters. You're probably thinking, well duh, everyone knows you need to 'do it' to have a baby... Okay, but do we ever really think about the reason why we want to 'do it' in the first place. Yes it feels good, some individuals use it for domination purposes (no judgement), some abuse it for their own sense of power (major judgement) but for the majority it is the most intimate way of saying 'I love you'.



Sex provokes strong reactions in people - case in point, a piece of fine art to be sold at auction has elicited numerous responses from the people who have seen it this morning. Don't get me wrong, it is beautiful and not offensive (in my humble opinion) but it reveals a little more than bosoms. Some could not stop staring, some were bemused at the visual impact and some were anxious about the effect it would have on the wider public.

Sex in it's many forms impacts differently on people; from changing your life with the conception of a baby, to forcing you to consider your own sexual aptitude and to assessing how it will be received in different forums. So does sex, alone, make the world go round? I think it's safe to say it's a pretty strong driver...

Sunday, 21 February 2010

The First Kiss



When I was a young girl (and I'm talking the teenage years) my friends and I would discuss kissing, boys, relationships... you know, the regular Saturday night sleepover gossip ritual. We imagined kissing a boy as handsome as Leonardo Dicaprio or turning up on the arm of someone as hunky as Paul Walker and we longed for the day when we would play their leading lady.

The kisses looked amazing, but watching the edited and produced smooches between two beautiful Hollywood types set us up for an unrealistic expectation of what our own experiences would be like.

I remember some of my more experienced friends recalling their lip-locking encounters describing them as too toothy, like straightening a piece of string on your tongue and one, as saliva boy.

My first kiss was so far removed from the knee-knocking, earth-shattering fiesta I was anticipating, quite frankly it turned my stomach. I was 15 and away at summer camp in Oxford. It was a disco night, which meant 50 girls clamouring for the mirrors in the campus bathroom, fizzling heat eminating from so many pairs of hair straighteners, Spectacular glitter christening the air as we hurried to apply liberal amounts to our eyelids, arms, chests (pretty much every exposed bodily area) and multi-coloured tube tops shielding an array of fledgling breasts.

It was one of those - "oooh, Mark wants to kiss you tonight!" scenarios, so I knew it was coming, but that does not mean I was prepared for what was to actually, come! He was a good three inches shorter than me (and I am not tall) and he had braces (yes the atypical teenage boy)- lucky me, certainly no Leo Dicaprio moment. He approached me on the dancefloor and after a brief attempt at slow dancing with me, suggested we exit the disco and find a quiet spot... this was round the back of the building in the shadow of the night. He then proceeded to insert his tongue into my mouth and perform some kind of washing-machine style oral exam. I made my excuses and was able to mentally block it until 8am the following morning when I awoke and ran for the bathroom in memory of my ghastly first kiss...

Of course I have had many more good, great and even excellent kisses since then, and now with my husband of course, they are fantastic!!
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