Tuesday, 12 July 2011

What's in a name...

So, the big news of the week – aside from the inimitable phone hacking scandal – the Beckhams’ baby; but more controversially, the Beckhams’ baby’s name.

Listening to heart FM yesterday morning while going about my usual morning routine, my ears pricked up a notch at the mention that the former Posh Spice had given birth to her fourth child. However, enthusiasm turned to confusion as I attempted to decipher whether I had heard correctly that David and Victoria had labeled their bundle of joy ‘Half a Seven’. WTF!?

I looked at my husband with one eyebrow raised and asked whether I was just half asleep or whether Jamie and Harriet really had just announced that the new addition was called Harper Seven Beckham.

The continuing ridiculousness of celebrity baby names I feel has reached a crescendo at this point, as fruit and town names are trumped by numbers. We’ve had Apple (spawn of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin), Sage Moonblood (spawn of Sty Stallone), Jermajesty (spawn of Jermaine Jackson) and the most unfortunately named Audio Science (spawn of little known actress Shannyn Sossamon – she of Forty Days & Forty Nights opposite his gorgeousness, Josh Hartnett). All equally bizarre and all screaming of the inane pretension that accompanies the rich and famous. Just because you’re in movies/in a band/have more money than sense does not qualify you to subject your child to simple stupidity that speaks more of love for your ego than your love for your offspring.

Obviously little Harper Beckham has become a human shrine to her father’s glorious years as number seven in the Manchester United line up, though whether she will ever see the benefit in this is anyone’s guess. I imagine the overwhelming supply of Hermes handbags and mummy’s own brand collection will soften the blow somewhat.

But it really does beggar belief that she and her peers, Moon Unit, Blanket and Pilot Inspektor must go through life (until they reach the requisite age to legally change their ridiculous titles) with the named proof that their parents are beyond mental sense and reason. I’m all for uniqueness and indivuality, but come on people, there are limits.

And I believe we reached it seven minutes ago…
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